Jenan Taylor
13 May 2024
School children need to be better educated if women are to better protected from men’s violence, an Anglican anti-gender violence advocate says.
Parishioner, domestic violence survivor, counsellor and Meditation Australia president Lisa Forde wants a stronger focus on relationship education.
It comes as Yarra Valley Grammar expelled two students, and subjected others to further disciplinary action, for their part in an online spreadsheet that ranked female classmates.
Ms Forde said there was little education in schools around the dynamics of healthy relationships, including what a good relationship looked like, and this needed to change.
She said what students were taught about relationships was significant as it could counter the negative relationships they might be exposed to outside school, including their family setting.
Ms Forde said this was the case for boys and for girls who often took what they learned from their own upbringing to understand and model their future relationships.
She said she went into her first marriage believing that being in an abusive environment was normal, and that an abusive partner was a normal partner.
Read more: Churches powerhouses against men’s violence, but funds needed: Advocates
Ms Forde said she observed from her children’s schooling that what was being taught was insufficient.
She said one was now learning more about interpersonal relationships, but the focus was on consent rather than lifelong relationships or romantic partnerships.
“Focus on consent is terribly important, but what about the rest of it? There’s much more to relationships than consent,” Ms Forde said.
“They need to be taught to consider what a relationship is and how it should work. There’s a lot of variation in that, but relationships are the most important things in our lives and no one learns that. There’s nothing in schools about that.”
Monash University researchers recently wrote in The Conversation that federal government funding to prevent youths’ exposure to online misogyny, overlooked the role of school education for tackling men’s violence.
The researchers called for series of national measures in schools, including making respectful relationships education mandatory across them, to change how women are seen and treated.
Ms Forde said how domestic violence was managed by all of society, was another necessary and important change.
She said her encounter with domestic violence was 20 years ago, but from what was being reported on the news, women still struggled to have their stories taken seriously.
Ms Forde said it was vital victims were believed about what they were going through, because it would promote more conversations about perpetrators and why they hurt their partners.
Read more: ‘We haven’t acted forcefully enough’: Ballarat Church tackles men’s violence
Psychologist and St Mark’s National Theological Centre lecturer Kylie Maddox Pidgeon said better prevention of violence was as simple as systemic change.
Ms Maddox Pidgeon said religious organisations and the judiciary were among the institutions that failed to address the drivers of violence against women, and reinforced them instead.
These included continuing to stereotype masculine and feminine constructions, and limiting women’s independence.
She said religious institutions had a particular role to play to reduce these drivers, but many continued to promote them instead, through patriarchal staff and leadership structures.
Retired cleric and abuse survivor Willy Maddock said it was the Church’s role to help people recognise domestic violence, and call it out.
“There are always opportunities to preach a message which reminds people that the Scriptures say nobody has the right to abuse another person, including within a marriage,” Ms Maddock said.
If you or anyone you know needs help, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
In an emergency please phone triple zero (000) to reach ambulance services or police.
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