Jenan Taylor
20 August 2024
A support group for people living with dementia and their carers is easing the loneliness and anguish of carers even after their loved ones are gone.
St Margaret’s Eltham opened the Eltham Memory Care Café two years ago as a resource where people with dementia and their carers could find friendship and respite.
The opportunity to gather fortnightly has proved so popular with carers some have continued to attend despite no longer looking after someone.
Geppie Bajema lost her husband last October but continued to attend the gatherings because it helped her deal with her grief and was good for her mental health.
Mrs Bajema and her late husband visited the café for more than a year, and she said he was in good hands and enjoyed what they did while there.
She said as a carer, participating made her feel better because she could connect with people who were also experiencing the isolation and strain of caring.
Read more: Church’s cafe will provide community and care for people with dementia
Mrs Bajema said she found the group was still vital for her because it provided a community in which she could slowly heal.
“It’s not far to go, there are people I’ve come to know, and many, like me, go to church. I feel it’s been a blessing for me,” she said.
St Margaret’s parishioner and Eltham memory cafe founder Sheila Cheary said Mrs Bajema was one of a few people who still participated even though they were no longer carers.
She believed they found it a release to be able to continue the connections they formed at the cafe.
“It’s a very lonely thing being a carer. For those looking after someone with dementia, knowing it’s an illness that will continue and they’re going to decline in front of you, it’s a terribly sad thing to bear,” Ms Cheary said.
“But then they come to the café, and meet others who are putting in the same intense efforts day to day with the people they’re looking after. This is where they can laugh and have a chat with each other, and swap strategies, and they don’t feel quite so lonely.”
Read more: We are ‘with’ as God is with us: Serving at St Vincent’s
She said there were no restrictions on people attending when they no longer had someone to look after if they felt it was something that helped them.
Ms Cheary said aside from providing friendship opportunities for carers, the memory café also held presentations by various speakers to keep participants better informed.
These included insights on how to navigate aged care packages, and what to expect from palliative care.
For more information on the Eltham Memory Care Café, see here.
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