Jenan Taylor
8 February 2024
A former Victoria Police senior chaplain hopes to help people plan for what they would like to have happen when they die, through his upcoming workshop.
In the Event of My Death aims to help ease the potentially heavy emotional strain of end-of-life responsibilities when death happens, by encouraging people to prepare early.
The two-day workshop at St Dunstan’s Camberwell will give community members the chance to discuss the finer details of their own or others’ end-of-life plans, including funeral arrangements.
Organiser, the Reverend Jim Pilmer said the Church almost always discussed new life, but seldom mentioned coming to the end of this life.
He said it was important that it offered people practical consideration of what to do when death occurred if it wanted to care more fully for them.
Read more: Do-it-yourself funerals offer a more conscious approach: Experts
“A lot of clergy won’t talk about death, and therefore it can be difficult for them to do so in the pastoral care context. If you can’t talk practicalities, then you’re possibly not looking after all that people need at that time. Let’s be sensible and discuss it,” Mr Pilmer said.
He said many people avoided the topic of death altogether until there was a crisis, and this could make it harder for them to take responsibility on behalf of someone else, especially if the death was sudden.
Some people were reticent to have those conversations simply because they wanted to shelter loved ones from the anticipation of loss, separation and grief, Mr Pilmer said.
Being open about death encouraged people to talk about dealing with it in front of others, and therefore encouraged trust. They could come to view it as something they could face together, he said.
Mr Pilmer said he provided workshop participants with a template of a typical church service and other documents they might need to help them decide their own or honour someone else’s last wishes.
He said the seminar also covered cultural and interfaith considerations that some people might have if, for example, they were in an interfaith partnership.
Mr Pilmer said it was the third time he would be running the initiative and that he was always surprised at how many participants, particularly older people, it attracted.
Read more: Cleaning out her house, I discovered a larger view of my Mum
Aged care chaplain the Reverend Kirsty Brown said she encouraged conversations about honouring people’s wishes early with them and their family members.
She said they were easier to have before there was a pressing need for them, or before people were faced with overwhelming grief.
Ms Brown said elderly people especially, were pleased when someone else was able to suggest it as they often struggled to voice their wishes.
She said it was particularly important in the aged care space that people were nudged to discuss it to ensure that people’s wishes were honoured correctly.
“There might be someone of faith for whom it’s important that their funeral service is a Christian service. But their children aren’t people of faith and so might not know what that entails and what to do. The best way for the older person to ensure their wishes are adhered to is to let them know what they are,” Ms Brown said.
According to a 2023 Seniors Australia study, more people saw the need for more open conversations about death and most wanted to ensure that end-of-life wishes were respected.
But more than half of the people surveyed were yet to make preparations, the report said.
The seminar and workshop will be held on 17 March and 14 April, after the Sunday morning services at St Dunstan’s Camberwell
For further details please call 0478 404 179.
For more faith news, follow The Melbourne Anglican on Facebook, Instagram, or subscribe to our weekly emails.
